Codependency

By Tuesday November 20th, 2018blogs

Self Diagnosis for Codependence
This is a test to calculate the severity of the codependency problem. It is not a replacement for professional evaluation, but a tool for self-diagnosis.

1. You believe and feel that you are responsible for other people; for their feelings, thoughts, actions, decisions, desires, needs, well-being or discomfort, even for what happens to them in the future?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

2. Do you feel instinctively driven to help other people solve their problems, even when they have not asked for help?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

3. You find yourself saying yes, when in reality you wanted to say no, doing things you really do not want to do, doing more than what would be considered a fair division of work, or doing things for other people that they can do for them and then feeling resentful and victimized?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

4. Do you feel bored, empty and worthless, if there is no crisis in your life, a problem to solve, or someone to help?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

5. Do you believe that someone is responsible for taking care of you and making you happy?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

6. Do you believe and feel that someone, or someone’s problem is controlling your life?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

7. Is it the feeling of guilt that determines your priorities? (For example, do you do what you want to do and think it is good for you, or do you do what you think you should do to minimize guilt and build self-esteem?)
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

8. Do you feel guilty for what you think and feel and deny?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

9. Do you care about a person to the point where you lose sleep and can not relax and enjoy life?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

10. Do you think about another person and about their problems more than three times per day?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

11. Are you so worried about someone who has become depressed and physically ill?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

12. Are you very worried about someone who is taking sedatives, or is drinking alcohol to handle the resulting anxiety?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

13. Do you believe that you can not be happy until another person – father, son, friend, lover or partner – changes your behavior? Are you waiting for someone else to change so that you can be happy?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

14. Do you abandon your routine abruptly and stop living your life, because you are very upset with someone?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

15. Do you try to control events and people, by withdrawing affection, producing feelings of guilt, coercing, threatening, giving unsolicited advice, exercising manipulation, or domination?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

16. Do you feel confused, helpless, sometimes think you will go crazy, because of the way you have been involved in someone else’s life?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

17. Do you allow someone to abuse you physically or emotionally?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

18. Are you emotionally and physically abusing someone?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

19. Do you feel attacked and defensive when other people talk about you?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

20. Do you feel you have to get furious and scream to be heard?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

21. Do you seek the approval of other people for their conduct or decisions?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

22. Try to prove that you are good enough for other people, but forget to ask yourself if those people are good enough for you?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

23. Do you feel stuck in relationships?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

24. Do you blame other people for the circumstances of your life?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

25. Usually you do not say what you feel?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

26. Do you ask for what you need indirectly or often do not talk about it?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

27. Lie to protect and cover the people you love?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

28. Are you tolerating behaviors that you have said you would never tolerate?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

29. Has someone hurt you so deeply that you have lost your spiritual faith?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

30. Has someone hurt you so deeply that you have been thinking about doing, and doing things to punish and get revenge on that person?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

31. Is the anger of someone controlling their actions? For example, that you spend a lot of time and energy thinking and choosing the behavior that will least provoke the anger of that person?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

32. Do you have sex with someone even if you do not want to have it?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

33. Do you have difficulties to relax and have fun?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

34. You feel stuck, trapped and hopeless, but do you tell yourself that your problem is not serious enough to need help?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

35. Have you made another person’s problem that you separate and isolate yourself from the things and people you enjoy?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently

36. A thought of suicide or have you wished death as an escape to an intolerable relationship?
0 = Not applicable or rarely
1 = Occasionally
2 = Frequently