My mom had many problems.
She had been gaining weight and losing hair. She couldn’t sleep, bit her nails, and ground her teeth. She was irritable, grumpy, and bitter until one day, suddenly, she changed.
The situation was the same, but she was different.
One day, my dad said to her:
– Old lady, I’ve been looking for a job for three months and haven’t found anything. I’m going to have a few beers with the guys.
My mom replied:
– Alright, you’ll find a job drinking beer.
My brother said:
– Mom, I’m failing all my university courses…
My mom replied:
– It’s okay, you’ll recover, and if you don’t, repeat the semester, but you pay the tuition.
My sister said:
– Mom, I crashed the car.
My mom replied:
– It’s okay, daughter, take it to the repair shop, find a way to pay for it, and while they fix it, use the bus, taxi, or metro.
Her daughter-in-law said:
– Mother-in-law, I’m coming to spend a few months with you.
My mom replied:
– Alright, make yourself comfortable on the living room couch and grab some blankets from the closet.
Everyone in my mom’s house gathered, concerned about these reactions, suspecting she might have gone to the doctor and been prescribed some “I Don’t Care” 1000 mg pills.
We proposed intervening to keep her away from any possible addiction to anti-tantrum medication. But to our surprise, when we all gathered around her, my mom explained:
“It took me a long time to realize that everyone is responsible for their own life. It took me years to discover that my distress, my mortification, my depression, my anger, my insomnia, my stress, and my prayers didn’t solve their problems but aggravated mine. I am not responsible for others’ actions, but I am responsible for the reactions I express to them.
Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that my duty to myself is to stay calm and let everyone solve what belongs to them.
I have taken courses in yoga, meditation, miracles, human development, mental hygiene, vibration, and neurolinguistic programming, and in all of them, I found a common denominator: they all lead to the same point. I can only have influence over myself; you all have all the necessary resources to solve your own lives. I can only give you advice if you ask for it, and it’s up to you whether to follow it or not.
So, from now on, I stop being the receptacle of your responsibilities, the sack of your guilt, the laundress of your regrets, the lawyer of your faults, the wall of your complaints, the depository of your duties, the resolver of your problems, or your spare tire to fulfill your responsibilities. From now on, I declare all of you independent and self-sufficient adults.”
Everyone in my mom’s house was left speechless.
Since that day, the family started functioning better because everyone in the house knows exactly what is their responsibility.
