Introduction
Our way of living and the attitude we have towards any event are governed by three basic components: actions, thoughts, and emotions. Emotions are precisely the oldest and most basic of all our range of reactions, and although we have had hundreds of years to learn to control them, they still dominate us.
You cannot avoid feeling emotions. Emotions are present because they serve an evolutionary function, a biological sense of survival. If our ancestors had not felt fear in front of a pack of tigers, humanity probably would not have made it to today.
The amygdala is the part of your brain responsible for triggering emotions, as if it were an automatic response in the form of aggression or flight in the face of a threat. That’s why it’s so difficult to control the origin of your emotions through willpower: it would mean nullifying this genetically programmed response.
What are the symptoms?
A person without emotional self-control:
- Reacts impulsively, acts without much thought and without reflecting on the consequences of their actions.
- Is usually defensive.
- Gets angry and depressed in stressful situations.
- Struggles to maintain attention on something specific for an extended period.
- Appears impatient.
- Has real difficulties resisting temptation. When there is a need, they feel compelled to satisfy it immediately.
- Other possible symptoms of lack of emotional self-control or impulse control include:
- Lack of anger management.
- Lack of emotional self-control in general.
- Addictions.
- Gambling addiction.
- Kleptomania.
- Compulsive shopping.
- Trichotillomania (hair-pulling).
- Nervous tics.
- Procrastination or postponement.
Consequences
Inappropriate handling of emotions has consequences on both physical and mental health. By suppressing feelings, they don’t truly go away but return in the future with more serious consequences.
It’s also possible for individuals to project their feelings related to a person or situation onto others, profoundly damaging their relationships or severely affecting various aspects of their life, such as work, social, and family. Proper emotional management allows the individual to improve their relationship with themselves and others.
The negative effects of a lack of impulse control vary based on the type of impulsive behavior exhibited. Some issues stemming from a lack of impulse control include:
– Depression: A sense of hopelessness and emotional fatigue.
– Anxiety: Internal disruption.
– Resentment: Accumulation of resentment towards the environment.
– Exaggerated fears: Viewing everything as a threat, having a negative outlook on the future in any situation or person out of fear of not being able to control emotions.
– Guilt: Feeling guilty for any mistake or thinking they are responsible for situations in which they have no involvement.
– Perfectionism: Striving for perfection to prevent problems and errors.
– Excessive self-criticism for not having control over experiences and behaviors.
Keys to Managing Your Emotions
Let’s explore several guidelines that can help in the moment of emotional control.
Speak to yourself better and in a more positive manner
Yes, it’s proven that your thoughts and internal dialogue—what you say to yourself and what you repeat constantly—directly and powerfully influence how you feel afterward. But before starting to think more positively, we need to identify, understand, and rid ourselves of those thoughts that provoke or maintain those unpleasant emotions, making us feel sad, scared, angry, etc.
Once identified, you’ll gradually need to change and replace them with alternative and positive thoughts. How? Use a notebook and a pen. This way, you can write them down, and none will be left in the air. Write down the alternative positive thought next to it.
Continuous practice is crucial in this strategy. The more you do it, the less time it will take each time. Gradually, this way of thinking will become automated and will start to be your primary way of thinking and interpreting the reality around you, truly making you feel much better, physically and emotionally.
Think beyond, visualize your immediate future
When overwhelmed by intense emotion, it can happen—and often does—that one cannot see beyond, neither in the short term, nor the medium, and much less the long term. That intense emotion acts as a dark filter that clouds everything else. Although you may only be capable of living in the present in that moment, try to rationalize that life goes on, and hours, days, weeks will pass. Will you still feel this way? Surely not.
These are other general skills that can help you with self-control:
– Learning to say “no” (assertiveness)
– Maintaining a positive attitude that leads to greater self-control and mood
– Avoiding pleasing everyone
– Encouraging the communication of thoughts and feelings
– Mindfulness
– Breathing techniques
An individual with emotional self-control issues knows that their emotional behavior is inappropriate but is unable to control it. When emotional disturbance increases, it’s beneficial for the person to have psychological tools and acquire skills to reduce and control their emotions.
The ability for self-control is crucial to promote and maintain good relationships and is one of the most valued competencies in social settings and businesses.
Treatment
Our program includes the following dynamics:
Therapies
– Daily psychotherapy group sessions.
– Individual therapies.
– Motivational stimulus therapy.
– Art and recreation therapy.
Family
– Ongoing care groups (we collaborate with former patients and their families who share their experiences to assist newcomers).
– Patient’s family assistance and therapy program.
– ACA – Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families Group.
Workshops
– Anger management workshops.
– Recovery process workshop.
– Relapse prevention workshop.
Activities and Lectures
– Yoga/Meditation.
– Educational lectures on various related topics (open to the community).
– Sharing of the 12 steps and 12 traditions.
– Reinforcement for recovering former patients who have been discharged.
